The Damaging Effects Of Being A Victim
To a narcissist, nothing makes them happier than but to be someone who can shape the image and the story of another person.
Most narcissists are cowards. They are deluded people. People who simultaneously believe themselves the center of the universe as well as nothing important.
These people have such a twisted look at life and people.
But if there is one thing they have that is very prominent in their utility belts, is the ability to create a narrative around someone and some people.
Narrative, in a world full of kidults, is the most powerful tool you can have.
“Stowy-time! Stowy-time! Stowy-TIME!”
(And yes, this is how I imagine kidults saying story time as they gleefully sit down and watch the propagandistic news…cough…cough…CNN, MSNBC, FOX).
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The Damaging Effects Of Being A Victim
It beats having a nuke.
Why bomb and wipe out millions and destroy land that you could potentially use for your purpose when you can nuke people’s ability to see their worth, thus nuke their spirit and self, and still keep the land?
Why shackle millions in chains, showing them that they are slaves and prisoners when you can shackle their minds?
“Enslave them by giving them the illusion they are free.” – Xavier Grant
Why tell them they are warriors and thrivers when you can tell them they are victims?
If you tell people they are warriors and thrivers, how will you ever be able to control them long after you have separated?
No, the best way to help people who have been in a narcissistic and toxic abusive relationship is to make them feel like victims and survivors.
Because as long as you are a victim, it is never YOUR job to save yourself from the abuse you live through.
You have to WAIT for a hero to come along and save you from the locked castle that you, otherwise, can quickly leave if you just said, “I need no one to save me but myself.”
As long as you are a survivor, you will never try and have more in life because, you know, somewhere out there lies the narcissist in waiting to destroy all that you built up.
If you were a warrior, not only would you welcome them TO TRY, but you’d be prepared for it.
See, narcissists cannot let you think you are not a warrior or a thriver.
You must always remain a victim and survivor because as long as you keep these TOXIC MINDSETS, you still somehow BELONG TO THEM.
As long as you think YOU are a VICTIM, you will still suffer from pain and abuse months to years after being with the narcissist.
That victim mindset, although justifiable to have BEEN a victim, in times will only erode and eat away at your self-esteem.
As long as you are a victim, that new relationship will never work because of, “Maybe they are just like the last partner.”
As long as you are a victim, you will never know what to think and how to live life because you are too scared of being lied to and manipulated.
See, a victim still lives by the narcissist rules, LONG AFTER THEY HAVE LEFT.
A Thriver is someone who says, “this happened. I HATE THAT THIS HAPPENED. But I hate even more reliving these negative days over and over again.”
This is what a narcissist hates.
Someone who lives a much better life without them in it, as it shows to the narcissist that they were the ones who were not good enough, and all they do is drag down others.
To thrive is the biggest middle finger in their face because it shows them how POWERLESS they are, and to a narcissist who needs to control everyone around them is a huge INSULT.
To be a survivor means to be on constant alert.
Scared to start that business. Scared to get into that new relationship.
Scared to walk to the store because of the anxiety of old times.
Surviving is not something you want to do.
You survive on minimum wage. You survive a car accident that left you IN A WHEELCHAIR. You survive a freak accident that left you mutilated.
You survive…you don’t live.
To be a warrior is someone who says, “COME AT ME LIFE and BRING YOUR NARCISSIST SO THAT I MIGHT HOLD THEIR HEAD ON A PIKE FOR ALL TO SEE THAT…
“I AM NOT THE ONE TO MESS WITH.”
A warrior EMBRACE HARD TIMES (which will inevitably come our way) a survivor shirks hard times and lives the rest of their live-in anxiety and depression.
How we see ourselves matters, and as many of you will fight very hard to say you are a victim (and I understand why you feel as you were and maybe you were…ONCE) — all you do is give power to the narcissist.
What you say when you say “I’m a victim or was a victim of a narcissist” is that “This person has such an influence on my life and still does, and I am POWERLESS to do anything about it.”
This elates a narcissist who wants to feel powerful.
When you say I am a survivor, you make them feel as if they are a force of nature and they are unstoppable.
In their deluded minds, what they see is that they have beaten you in life.
When you say I am a thriver, you say, “I WON.”
When you say I am a warrior, you say, “I AM NOT THE ONE TO MESS WITH.”
These statements not only anger but also makes a narcissist scared.
Be mindful of what you tell yourself, and be mindful of how you see yourself.
Do not let them create that narrative around you.
You are no victim or survivor…YOU ARE A THRIVER AND WARRIOR, and to fight for anything less than a better life for you only serves the narcissist and not you.
And why do their job for them?
Check out Empathic Warriors for inspirational and uplifting of WARRIOR EMPATHS who refused to be victims and have their lives dictated by the narcissist.
You are the author of your life, NOT THEM; take back your pen and write your best story of you being the greatest hero you have ever known.