It is unwise to become involved with a narcissist. The longer you stay in the relationship, the harder it will be to get free.
For your peace of mind, health, and safety, stay alert to early signs of narcissism.
5 Early Signs of Narcissism in a Boyfriend
1 – Love At First Sight- And Then It Isn’t
Narcissists usually start with a practice known as “love-bombing.” If he started to insist you were the one person he had been waiting for, the love of his life, or his soulmate shortly after you met, consider it a warning that he may be a narcissist.
Genuine love takes time to develop. It is impossible to love a person without knowing the person. In contrast, love-bombing is a way to manipulate you into a false sense of security, undeserved trust, and a too-fast relationship.
If he accomplishes these goals, though, you will soon notice his attitude and behavior toward you has changed.
Instead of his early approach that you are the perfect woman and his ideal mate, it will be a campaign of fault-finding, even if the faults are irrational or nonexistent.
Nearly everything you say and do, and almost everything about yourself, will be criticized, picked on, and insulted.
2 – Narcissists Do Not Have Empathy
Empathy validates another person’s experiences. It also shows the individual is capable of compassion and the ability to relate to other people. Narcissists do not have this characteristic.
Think of times you shared a negative experience and how your boyfriend reacted.
The experience could have been painful, sad, worrisome, or frightening. If he responded with boredom, ridicule, or anger, he is likely a narcissist.
You can also think of his reactions to other people. From abuse victims and suicides to individuals existing in poverty, he cannot care. He may even assert their situations were their fault.
3 – He Has An Odd Concept Of Friendship
While some narcissists have few people in their lives, others boast of many friends. If you look closer, though, you will see his concept is much different from yours or mine.
Instead of shared interests, compatibility, and a mutual investment of time and support, a narcissist defines a “friend” as someone from whom he can gain something.
A narcissist may choose “friends” who have something he wants. As he believes people exist to be used, he may take advantage of these individuals for money or other material purposes.
Equally common, though, is choosing friends who feed his ego with consistent admiration. Narcissists love to be around people who talk about how great they are and are never at a loss for compliments.
4 – Narcissists Are Never Wrong
If you become involved with a narcissist, you will soon hear about a difference between himself and everyone else. He cannot acknowledge that he is ever wrong about anything.
In contrast, he believes everyone else is always wrong. This approach extends much further than opinions, viewpoints, and disagreements. He believes his behaviors are someone else’s fault, too.
5 – Narcissists Engage In Gaslighting
If you are involved with a narcissist, you may question yourself, your behavior, mind, and memories.
While gaslighting can take many forms, the purpose is to cause you to doubt everything about yourself and your experiences. You may be told you did not see, hear, do, or experience incidents the way you remember the incidents.
Narcissists do this for a reason. If he can cause you to doubt, he can quickly achieve control over you and the relationship. At its worst, he may be able to convince other people that there is something wrong with your mind.
Narcissists cannot be “fixed,” and they do not change. If you notice any of these characteristics in your new boyfriend, step back and assess the situation.
You may also seek advice from long-time friends, family members, or a trusted counselor. You deserve better than a relationship with a narcissist.