How Narcissist Punishes You & How You Can Defend Yourself Against It
A few days ago, I wrote an article about “What Happens When You Stand Up To A Narcissist,” and I have received several comments and remarks (on social media) expressing how this is dangerous to do.
I find it very disheartening and sad that so many people are willing to live a lifeless than so NOT to upset the narcissist because of retribution for standing up to them.
In this article, I want to educate you on how a narcissist punishes you and gives you the steps to defend yourself against their retribution.
But, I also want to express why we MUST be brave and courageous. These people have no DAMN RIGHT to dictate how we will live our lives.
They are NOBODY to DARE think they have the right to dictate how we will live our lives.
A happy life, a successful life, and a life without them in it are worth FIGHTING FOR.
You, we are NOT cowards.
You may think you are, but you are much more than that, and the narcissist knows this.
Do not let their petty fweewings dare dictate how you will live your life.
How Narcissist Punishes You & How You Can Defend Yourself Against It
“I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what. – Atticus Finch”― Harper Lee
Listed below are several ways how narcissist punishes you for standing up for yourself.
It is important to learn to retrain how you see these actions. These people feed on fear, but as long as you are not fearful of them, everything they do and try will be a huge waste of their time.
1 – Smear Campaign
Right off the bat, these people will go on a smear campaign if you dare try/ or do leave them. In their eyes, to leave them is akin to killing them.
They do not know how to process someone they NEED in their worthless lives, leaving them. It feels as if you are killing their ego, and thus themselves.
So the smear campaign WILL happen, and they will try and character assassinate you as much as they can.
This is a clear sign that you have hurt their ego, so expect full-on people giving you the cold shoulder and trying to make you feel as if you are less than.
This is typical, and I can’t tell you how many times I have been through this…BUT…how I learned to flip this on them and make them regret it in major ways.
How To Defend Yourself From The Smear Campaign
It will happen.
The smear campaign WILL HAPPEN.
How you deal with it, is in becoming detached from everyone.
Most people around the narcissist are flying monkeys, enablers, or on-lookers (the indifferent or easily persuaded).
You will not be able to reason with these people because the narcissist, the melodramatic clowns they are, know how to play the victim.
Depending on the situation you are in, this can be tricky.
If it is a job, most likely you will get fired because everyone will work against you to get you fired (as they have nothing better to do).
This has happened to me several times.
Friendly advice, when they fire you say, “I understand and thank you for the opportunity.
DO NOT LASH OUT, as that is what they are looking for and do NOT explain yourself as that makes them feel like they have authority.
You need to start looking for other jobs, or what will really crush them is you becoming your boss and just walking away from them.
This will make hurt them because they can’t hurt you.
This is the insanity that goes on in their heads.
Detaching yourself from coworkers can be easier than detaching yourself from family and friends.
If you are dealing with a close relationship, this is where detaching yourself can be a bit more challenging, especially if there are kids involved.
The narcissist has a strong desire to isolate us from as many people as possible.
What you will need to do is muster the strength to accept anyone dropping you from your life and just moving on.
I know it is easier said than done, but if they were any family or friends, they would want to hear your side as well as the narcissist side.
Them believing the narc and accepting the image of you that the narc created shows you how much they valued you as a person.
2 – Stalking
The second way on how narcissist punish you is by stalking you.
Even though they may have told us they don’t want us in their life, or they may have discarded us, they will stalk us if we move on with our lives.
These people are lunatics, and they are not playing with a full deck.
The narcissists stalk us because, in their minds, they think we belong to them.
They will most likely send their foolish flying monkeys to come in and stalk us on their behalf.
Like the fools they are, the flying monkey will oblige and take great pleasure in doing so.
How To Defend Against The Stalking
You can do several things when the narcissist decides to stalk you like the psychopath they are.
- Get The Authorities Involved
- Ghost The Heck Out Of Them
- Surround Yourself With Friends & Family
Get The Authorities Involved
If you are being stalked by the narcissist or their pet flying monkeys, you must immediately let the authorities know about this.
And if they have a history with the police, then this is more the reason to do so.
You can possibly get a restraining order, which will keep these parasites away from you.
Ghost The Heck Out Of Them
This is a personal favorite of mines. Ghosting is the act of getting off of their grid.
They cannot find you, access you, or know anything about you anymore. You become like a rogue agent; you get off the grid completely.
And to people who are OBSESSED with us, this will drive them insane.
They need to have access to our lives, and when they have no access to our lives, they go batsh*t insane.
Changing cities, changing phone numbers, getting off of social media, and just disappearing without letting them know, they will go bonkers insane, or well in their case, more bonkers insane.
Surround Yourself With Family & Friends
This is a knife in their dark hearts to see us surrounded by loved ones. Now, this tactic can do one of two things.
It can make them back off because their crazy minds cannot deal with us happy and being around people who love us, or it can drive them even more insane and cause them to attack us out of frustration.
3 – Threaten You
Lastly, they will just upright threaten you for daring to leave them or stand up for yourself, and they may even act out on their threat.
This is how narcissists punish you when you decide to live your life on your accord.
What To Do When They Threaten You
Courage is not the absence of fear; it is working through the fear.
There are many other ways for how do narcissists punish you.
They are vindictive people, very petty and immature people who lash out when they don’t get their way.
But listen, you have to get to a point where you get tired of being afraid.
Where you get tired of having this person dictate how you will live your ONE LIFE.
Who the hell are these people anyway to decide how you will live your one life. They are nobodies trying to tell everybody how to live their lives.
You have to get to a point where you say, HOW DARE THEY THINK THEY CAN CONTROL MY LIFE.
Let that anger fuel your courage to live your life on your terms.
Who cares if they mock you, it only shows you hurt their feelings.
Who cares if they vent about you, it only shows you are still important to them.
And who cares if they hate you, they just want to be like you or have you in their lives.
THEY ARE NOBODY SPECIAL, and you must start seeing them this way.
They have NO RIGHT to dictate how you will live your life, and you must start being courageous. Fear only makes them happy.
Stand up for yourself and brave the consequences of your action.
They are paper tigers and we are ROARING LIONS.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.― Eric Roth
Suppose you need emotional support or seeking professional help from an abusive relationship. In that case, Online Therapy (Sign up with my affiliate link to get 20% off your first-month session) is a good option.
Blogs, online support groups, and even meetups are good steps in recovery, but nothing beats professional help.