How To Talk To A Narcissistic Husband
Narcissists like to externalize blame. It’s a fundamental feature of their modus operandi.Dr.George Simon
It is one of the most difficult and challenging things that any of us can do with a narcissistic husband, and that being…”talking to them.”
Once they have entered that rage state, trying to reason with them becomes one of the most challenging things that we can do.
Their anger and shame blind them so much that reasoning with them can seem like a pipe dream.
When leaving is not an option and the only way to get out of that scary and dangerous situation, the best thing to do are listed below.
These are methods that will help you deescalate the dangerous situation you are in.
Once you have deescalated and gotten back into a more calm atmosphere, PLAN A WAY OUT OF THIS BROKEN RELATIONSHIP for the next coming days and weeks.
These people will NEVER change their behaviors. They cannot change because they are emotionally stunted and emotionally weak.
How To Talk To A Narcissistic Husband ~ 5 Ways To Deescalate Arguments
These methods below, I must reiterate, help you keep the situation as calm and safe as possible.
Of course, the narcissistic husband is not in the right in his kidult tantrum.
It would be best to go along with it for your safety until you can get to a safe distance.
1 – Breathe In Deep And Say “You Are Right”
Now breathing in deep helps you calm your nerves, but it will also take the narcissist off guard for a quick moment.
They are looking for you to be scared, cry, or maybe run away from them.
By breathing in deeply and then sitting down and saying, “You are right,” you help to quell the raging beast within them.
They will be left a bit stunned by how calm and open you are to agree with them.
When this happens, it is of the utmost importance that you make them feel as if they are right.
Now, again, I must reiterate that they are not in the right here, but you must give the illusion that they are so that you can get to safety.
Narcissistic people are kidults, and if they attack and lose what bit of reason they had, they will most likely hurt you a great deal.
2 – Tell Him, “I See Where You Are Coming From”
This greatly supplements the first method.
By agreeing with him and letting him know you see where he is coming from and thus accepting his false reality, you will be able to ease his ego better.
It is essential to understand that to a narcissistic person; the ego is everything.
And if they feel it is hurt or feels that it will be attacked by anything, like a rabid animal in the wild, they will attack and defend what they think is theirs.
When dealing with these people, a battle between egos will only make YOU lose time and time again.
They WILL take things to the next level.
By not playing their game, you win.
3 – Sit Down And Tell Him You Will Stay Silent While He Vents
I had the unfortunate circumstance of watching a woman being berated by her boyfriend.
He was yelling and screaming at her, and she sat down and said, “I will not fight with you. I will sit here ad accept everything bad in your life.”
The guy was stunned for about two minutes and sat down next to her and said, “Okay! I was wrong.”
This is not always going to work, but this was such a powerful method that I saw in person that seemed to work like a charm.
By not giving any energy to these people, they are forced to go dormant for the time being.
Now mind you, they will attack again, but by this time, I hope you have made all the necessary steps to get away from them for good.
4 – Be Rational But Do Not Speak Rationally
Keep your head cool.
Look for signs that he may attack.
Look for exit points.
DO NOT TELL HIM TO CALM DOWN!
Listen, being with these people is like being in a warzone, but I am sure you already know that.
Anything can set them off to explode, and you must be ever vigilant.
Be scared, but let not your fear blind you to possible freedoms.
Bravery is not the absence of fear but the ability to work through your fear.
- Keep your head cool ~ Stay cool, calm, and collected.
- Look for signs that he may attack ~ Be watchful for any sudden lunges or attacks.
- Look for exit points ~ Have a way out. Know all escape points.
- DO NOT TELL HIM TO CALM DOWN ~ This ironically only seems t drive these people more insane.
5 – Walk Away If He Tells You To Leave Or Throws You Out
Lastly, and this is the best scenario, if he tells you to leave or get out…COMPLY.
This is your chance at freedom!