The Naive Empath: A Narcissist Favorite Meal
To be empathic is a great thing. I truly believe it is a step up in the evolutionary process. To care for someone outside yourself with the same amount of care you have for yourself is a fantastic trait.
Having empathy is like having a superpower. It can feel overwhelming being able to connect with so many other people on an emotional level.
However, when this power skill is not used correctly and not UNDERSTOOD correctly, then it can be used against us.
And sadly, for many Empaths, this becomes true.
Many empaths never learn how to use this power/skill correctly and thus give up years to decades of their lives trying to save narcissistic toxic people.
Many of us try and see the good in others where there is no good. Many of us give these toxic people the benefit of the doubt, despite all the red flags and signs that they give, saying, “I am just using you, you idiot.”
Empathy is a great thing, but if not used correctly and not understood correctly, it can destroy our lives, as it has done for some many of us.
In this article, I want to talk about what is the “naive empath” and explain how one can go about to be caring but also be assertive.
There are a lot of nasty people out in the world who will never change who they are.
Just as no one can make you STOP caring about others or can stop you from being a good human being, you must know that there are also nasty people out there who no amount of love will ever change into a good person.
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The Naive Empath: A Narcissist Favorite Meal
A Naive Empath is an empath who walks around with rose red-tinted glasses and sees the good in everyone they come across.
This is one reason why they ignore so many red flags because their perception of life is tainted with the rose red-tinted glasses they wear.
Naive Empaths Are A Narcissist Favorite Meal
I mentioned above that Empaths are a step up in the evolutionary process, and I believe this is true.
Narcissists are like reptiles. They focus on three things, which are sex, power, and survival.
Much like a reptiles main function in their lives is to procreate, which is them spreading their seeds and then LEAVE after, they don’t even take care of their young. They just bam-wham, lay eggs and “PEACE OUT”, on their own offspring.
Does this sound familiar?
Power. They need to rule over others and they will attack, without hesitation, anything that they deem a threat.
Survival. Their image is everything. If their image is destroyed, these nutjobs will go insane because they will be seen as weak.
Empaths are mammals in every sense; with empathy being one of the defining factors. The ability to care for one’s offspring, the need to connect with others, and the ability to emote all scream a step up in the evolutionary process.
Think of narcissists as crocodiles, life is the waters they infest and naive empaths are the young, slow, weak, TASTY, impalas (Doe-eyed and all).
EASY FOR THE PICKING!
Watch of your volition!
(Being empathic can make us feel what these poor animals are going through, but this is a great metaphor as to what it’s like for naive empaths to be in a relationship with a narcissist.)
Stop Seeing The Good In These Animals
If you don’t want to believe in the evolutionary analogy and want to take the spiritual route, fine.
Do you think that Satan will ever change?
Do you think that an evil spirit will just up and one day say, “Hey, I am tired of haunting this nice good family. Let me move on.”
Would a poltergeist just stop possessing people for the sake of realizing, “Hey, I am a bad spirit. Let me stop possessing people’s bodies and killing their families and start helping people.”
Do you think this would happen?
You have to wake up and take the red rose tinted glasses off and see the world for what it is.
Full of many nasty people who will NEVER change who they are because that is just what they are at their core, and that no amount of love, care, and trying to see the good in them will ever change them.
A snake even after shedding it’s skin is a snake.
A demon, even when holy water is tossed on it, is still a demon.
And a narcissist, despite all the love, care, and respect we give to them, will always remain a narcissist.
It is what they just are, and nothing will ever change them.
My Testimony: I Took Off My Red Rose-Tinted Glasses
I grew up with a narc parent and for them, I was the reason for ALL the hardships in their lives. Whenever they had a bad day at work, it was because of me.
Whenever they didn’t do well with a date, it was because of me. If things didn’t work out in any facet of their lives, it was because of me.
And being the empathic child I was, I tried my best to be the good child I could and would apologize, cry and do my best to make them happy.
Also having an enabling grandparent who would use religion to make me think it was my duty to apologize for things I never did because that is what “Gawd” wants would only keep me more naive and make me feel I had to take the abuse because “They just needed me to love them and understand their unjust abuse towards me.”
“Remember, they are your parents and they are all you have.”
This psychological and emotional abuse would go on for 17 years, and it was only until one last lie, one final BETRAYAL where my whole family turned on me, that I took them off and left them for TEN YEARS.
Taking off the red rose-tinted glasses and being away from them for that long made me see them for what they are and made me see what I had gone through and how much of MY SELF I had lost during these most important years of my life.
Being Empathic But Be Smart
Being a naive empath not only makes you be abused, and you then believing you need to accept the abuse to show the abuser you love them and understand them, but it takes from you/us our most precious gifts.
Time being one of them.
How many years, to even decades, do we lose trying to make these people know we care for them and love them?
I have heard so many other survivors stories of how they stayed in a crappy toxic marriage for ten years, twenty years, and even forty years trying to make it work. They tried so hard to be supportive, and everything they did was for nothing.
The only time their narcissistic demonic reptile partner seemed to be happy was when they were…
And even Suicidal (and provoking them to act on their ideations)
Tell me, what good is there in people like this?
You can be empathic, but that does not mean that you have to be naive or not be smart about it.
You have to understand how to effectively use this skill/power and to whom you must give it to.
Respect, love, care is a two-way street, and no matter how difficult a person’s life may have been, that gives them no monopoly on being a victim. Everyone has had a hard life.
Some people may have had it more challenging than others, and we know that for a fact, but many people have had a hard life and have used that to better themselves.
There are people out there who had terrible parents and lived in a toxic household who grew up to become upright citizens who are making a change in society.
Narcissistic people use their negative past as an EXCUSE.
I believe that even if they had the best parents imaginable, they would still be the toxic pieces of excrement they are.
Listen to this story of how these parents dealt with their sociopathic son.
After all the love they gave him, after all the ignoring of red flags, and after all the “trying to see the good in their son,” it culminated in one last nasty act by their son that made the mother take her red rose-tinted glasses off and…well, watch the video.
I applaud the mother and that is what empathy, the other side of empathy can do.
SOME PEOPLE ARE BEYOND SAVING.
Please watch this video. The mother was such a SUPERHERO!
Narcissistic people use their past as an excuse to hurt us in the present and to destroy our future because it gets them off.
They are not rational, moral, or even sane people.
And we MUST, for the sake of our sanity, livelihood, and happiness, give our empathy to those who are deserving of it.
Narcissists are not deserving of empathy.We need not have empathy for people who have no sympathy for others. Click To Tweet
It may seem challenging, in the beginning, to learn how NOT to be empathic to these people, but much like a superhero learns how to use their power BY PRACTICING, so too will you understand how to turn your empathy off for these people, by practicing.
You are not a bad person for not caring about a soulless, evil, irrational, nasty, toxic person.
You are just a smart empath.
And remember, nothing scares a narcissist more than an educated empath who can see through their BS and not fall prey to their evil spells.
Be empathic, but also be smart and know who it is you will use your skill/power to help.
Not everyone we come across in life is worth saving.
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