Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse
Relationship

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse: Can I Ever Love Again?


It is not uncommon for those who have dated a narcissist to have trust issues after narcissistic abuse relationships.

Toxic people can do a wonder on our emotional well-being and psychological well-being!

Growing up in a narcissistic household or staying in a narcissistic relationship for a long time can cause a myriad of mental health issues.

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

Mental health issues caused by narcissistic relationships:

  • Depression (Yes, this is a disease and illness)
  • Anxiety
  • PTSD
  • C-PTSD
  • Childhood Trauma
  • Insomnia

Narcissistic people/ toxic people get a kick out of driving people insane. Nothing makes them happier but to destroy a life, a dream, or a goal of others.

Losing faith in people, losing trust in people, is ultimately a plan of theirs. They love the idea that they have shaken you so much that you no longer trust anyone.

They love that they can keep you to yourself and isolate you.

Trusting again after a narcissistic relationship is not easy.

Still, if you can learn how to trust again and know who to trust again, you will be that one step closer to regaining the life you may have lost due to the narcissistic abusive relationship.

Do not give up on love, or yourself, because when you do that, the narcissist wins.

Disclaimer: This article includes affiliate links!

Can I Ever Love Again?

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

This all depends on how damaged your heart is.

What Are The Long Term Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse can have many long term effects on a person. This is because much of the abuse many go through is not always physical but psychological.

Telling people the abuse we are going through usually falls on deaf ears.

Sadly, for most people, if they cannot see the physical injury, they assume that it is all in your head.

And the funny thing is that it is.

But not in the way that they think.

Many of us go through the pain, and the abuse is hard for others to understand because narcissistic partners are very sneaky.

They do things in the shadow. They know how to use and manipulate others (i.e., flying monkeys) into doing their bidding for them.

The long-term effects of narcissistic abuse can lead to massive and severe depression, extreme anxiety, low self-esteem, loss of trust in oneself, lack of faith in other people, PTSD, C-PTSD, and so much more.

Why Narcissistic Abuse Is So Damaging?

Narcissistic abuse is so damaging to many of us because the abuse can go on for so long because no one believes the abuse we are going through.

The damage can be so bad even after they leave because of several factors.

Seeing the narcissist move on so quickly after discarding us can make us feel even less desirable.

That pain of being used and thrown away like we are trash is a pain unlike anything else we can experience in life.

Seeing the narcissist get away with all the wrong they did to us and live a happy life can also add more fuel to the fire.

The damage is so bad because it is emotional and psychological. There is not a quick fix band-aid strip that we can place on it to make the pain heal quickly.

However, there are several ways that one can heal, such as seeking Therapy, joining meetup support groups, or even online forum support groups such as Facebook Narcissistic abuse recovery groups.

However, therapy is easily the most beneficial way to heal, as you get to the root of the problem and learn how to better manage the pain, shame, and anger on your own.

How Do I Feel Better After Narcissistic Abuse?

How you can feel better in the aftermath of narcissistic relationship will start with perspective.

Yes, the pain you have gone through was unjust, unfair, and undeserved.

You were used, hurt, manipulated, and treated unjustly for no reason other than because they wanted you to suffer.

But I can promise you this, that nothing upsets a narcissist more than seeing someone they worked so hard to destroy live the best life possible after leaving them.

It is a brutal and crushing reminder to the narcissist that THEY are why everyone suffers around them and that when people leave them, their lives always get better.

When we seek revenge on them or try and reach out to them for closure, it only makes them think they are great.

But in walking away, rebuilding your life again, and being happy and prosperous, you crush their egos on a massive level.

Why?

Because it shows them that they do not matter and to someone who wants to matter and the only way they know how to count to people is by being nasty, you take away their only ability to be worth anything.

You can feel happy by knowing YOU are responsible for your happiness, not them.

By picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and keep on pressing forward, I promise you that your life will change for the better.

But it takes one day at a time; also, therapy would help out your situation.

The aftermath of narcissistic abuse does not need to leave you in a broken mess.

In fact, with the right mind you can come out of the relationship wiser, stronger and better.

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

It will take time for you to have intimacy after narcissistic abuse with anyone. Even friendship may be tough to form. 

And let’s not even talk about dating a good guy after a narcissist abusive relationship.

All I can say is that it will take time.

But no matter what you do, never give up on having a new relationship after narcissistic abuse relationship.

But no matter what you do, never give up on having a new relationship after narcissistic abuse relationship.

I am not saying to jump right out there and start immediately dating after breaking up with a narcissist.

You are still too emotionally fragile and hurt to do such a thing. 

In your downtime, you will want to look back at everything they did to you and write it down. 

Express why you put up with it for so long. 

Understand where your mindset was at that moment so that you do not make the same mistakes again. 

Take this time that you are single to reevaluate what it is that you want in a relationship. 

Start wiring out boundaries that you will set up and what you will do if people cross those boundaries. 

Start thinking about what it is that you want in a partner. 

The law of attraction is a real thing, as it shifts the subconscious to start looking for and identifying things that we start telling it to look for. 

We truly attract what we tell ourselves. 

If we tell ourselves we are not deserving of a healthy relationship, we will again end up in a nasty toxic relationship. 

But if we tell ourselves that we will find someone who loves us in the same way that we love them, we will find that special one. 

How To Trust People After Emotional Abuse?

Trust Issues After Narcissistic Abuse

Here are a few things you can do to start trusting people after emotional abuse.

Step 1: Learn To Trust Yourself

I hear you, easier said than done.

Understand this…

It is and was not your fault why they did the things they did to you. You are NOT to blame for their lack of emotional control or restraint.

Learning to trust yourself again will be extremely challenging, but it is worth it.

There is no simple trick that will make you up and trust yourself again after these relationships. The only thing I can tell you is to practice having faith in yourself.

Start by doing small things that will require hat you start trusting yourself.

Step 2: Create Boundaries and Start Practicing Keeping Them Up

I have a list of 7 things I look for in people. Of course, no one I meet will have all 7 of these traits, but I break them down.

To be an associate of mines, meaning someone I don’t mind saying hi to when I see them and chat it up briefly; a person must have 4 out of 7 traits. 

To be a friend, a person must have 5 of these traits. And this person can also be an FWB (Friend With Benefits). 

Lastly, to be a lover/partner, a person must have 6 of 7 of these traits. 

Now, I know for many this may seem snobbish, but I believe it is necessary to ween out all the wrong people and focus on only the “O.Q.P,” as Les Brown, the great motivational speaker, say, “Only Quality People.” 

In allowing anyone into my/our life that allowed for the narcissistic, toxic people to come strolling in our life with their muddy boots on that caused us to have trust issue. 

Create a list and then build those boundaries. 

Step 3: Tell Yourself You Got This

You are not a quitter. You are not weak. And you are not worthless. Life will keep on trying to keep you down, and you will keep on fighting to stay up.

Tell yourself every day, “I got this”.

The narcissist is spreading rumors about this, “I got this.”

The toxic partner is trying to delay the court case, “I got this.”

People are all talking badly about you and laughing at your situation, “I got this.”

When it seems like you have no one but yourself, your family is M.I.A, your friends have all abandoned you, the strangers in the street are spitting where you are walking, “I got this.”

You must learn to be your hero because once that happens, the strength of character you will develop will help you distinguish between who is trusting and who is not trustworthy.

You got this, trusting in others will start once you trust again in yourself.

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