The time will come when to stop helping someone in your life becomes crystal clear. And this time is when the toxic person reveals themselves completely.
There are some people out there who are not deserving of help. And I know this may sound a bit cruel and unfair, but toxic people/narcissistic people are some of those people who do not deserve help.
For empaths, for human beings, not helping others can be difficult.
We have an innate desire to want others to be happy just as we are, and it is something inside of us that wants to help others in need.
Although this is a great virtue to have, altruism can be more devastating than positively impactful to us when given to the wrong people.
Narcissistic people/Toxic people are not the type of people who will appreciate the help you/we give them. They believe they are entitled to our/your help.
Much like a child who thinks because they asked for something, they should get it, so too are these toxic narcissistic people in life who believe because they ask for help or ask for a request that they should get it.
Many of us have been so thoroughly conditioned to believe that we should say “yes” to anyone’s request and to be nice and help out as many people as we can.
But I think we must consider looking at who we should help in life.
In this article, I want to explain when to stop helping someone and why and how you can stop helping toxic people.
It is very important to understand that some people out there leech off others’ good nature to survive.
Some people genuinely are like parasites, feeding off of the goodwill of others.
When To Stop Helping Someone: Toxic People Deserve No Help
The toxic people in your life do not deserve your help.
Your life is for you, not them.
That is not selfish, that is self-full.
How can you ever think you can help others when you can’t even help yourself?
The idea of giving too much of yourself to others is what causes so many people to lose who they are for the sake of helping bring out the good in someone else.
Many good people/empaths have lost years to decades of their lives stolen by these parasitic beings passing themselves off as human beings.
Is It OK To Not Help Someone?
The answer to this is yes. As mentioned, many people out there are not deserving of help, and you should not feel bad about that.
You gain nothing by giving too much of yourself to others who aren’t even giving you a minute amount back.
Toxic people only take, take, and take.
They never give back, and when they do, they are expecting something in return.
Are There Any Advantages To Not Helping Someone?
When you start saying “no” to others and start saying yes” to yourself, you become a much more confident person.
You are just as deserving of your help as anyone else is.
The advantages of not helping someone may at first seem like they are selfish, but again, what good are you to others when you are no good o yourself?
How can you ever build someone else up when you are constantly tearing someone else down?
How can you ever inspire others to change for the better when you are doubtful about your moral code and ethical values?
And how can you be a hero to others when you are waiting for a hero to save you from your own miserable state of life?
The Advantages Of Not Helping People (Toxic People) Are:
- Healthy boundaries: If you don’t want to do something, you don’t do it, and you don’t feel bad about it.
- A strong sense of self-love: You will not be manipulated into thinking you are a bad guy for not doing something that is not in your favor.
- Time to do things that bring you joy: the happier you are in life, the fewer people you hurt.
- Time to keep working on yourself: when you are a better person, you can inspire people around you to work on themselves. Inspiration is one heck of a way to help people.
- Inspiration is helpful: If you want to help people, be inspiring.
Can You Be Addicted To Helping Others?
Yes, it is possible to become addicted to helping people. Some people out there find their worth and value in themselves by how much of a help they can be for others.
Helping other people can become addictive. It can begin to feel like the only way to show your love is to prostrate yourself at the needs of others.Tiny Buddha
When you find, or at the very least start to become cognizant of you being addicted to helping others, you must stop and ask yourself why you care about this person so much.
Is the help of others for gratitude, for fulfilling some empty void in you, to genuinely care about them, or because you feel obligated?
The compulsive need to help others may also stem from conditioning (i.e. your upbringing).
If you were a child who was continuously told that you had to help your parents, grandparents, or siblings and that it was your responsibility to do so, this might also be another reason why you are so addicted to helping others even when they do nothing for you.
Why Do I Feel Bad After Helping Someone?
You/we feel bad about not helping others because we see the person asking for help as in need. We see them as vulnerable people and that we must be the ones to help keep them secure.
It is our empathy, our immature and naive empathy, that keeps us to keep helping people.
Now, it is important to understand that empathy has levels to it.
As we age, our empathy can become stronger, but our empathy must also become wiser.
Naive empathy is empathy that is of a child. Although pure and innocent, this empathy is wholly ignorant and believes it should care and help others.
The bad thing about this, though, is that there are just some nasty people out there who prey on people like this.
Psychopaths are born NOT made!
The narcissist/toxic people who come into our lives are people who enjoy playing the victim so they can use people who have naive empathy.
I don’t like helping others who I don’t view as good people, and I personally do not see that as a bad things.
And the reason is how many stories hear from people sacrificing years to decades of their lives trying to help a person bring out the good in them.
Too many people who have lived with narcissists have lost so much of their lives trying to make it work and trying to be that supportive partner only to have nothing to show for it.
This compulsive helping robs so many people of a happy and fulfilling life. Helping others but getting nothing in return is such a harsh realization in our final days and on our deathbed.
When To Stop Helping Someone
Where Does The Need To Help Others Psychology Come From?
Dysfunctional helping, especially for most team members, happens out of habit, training, or whatever you want to call it. If we don’t “help” others, we feel incompetent or irresponsible, like we’re not a team player.Hiring & Empowering Solutions
This dysfunctional helping, as mention, stems from, what I believe, a poor upbringing. Having a needy and unfit parent can do this to a child. Children will feel as if they must bear the world’s weight on their shoulders; otherwise, they don’t care about mommy or daddy.
It can damage a child’s psyche and halt their self-esteem growth, as they are helping others but getting nothing in return.
They are conditioned to believe that their lives are to serve everyone on earth but the one person they need to serve the most, which is themselves.
This way of thinking can lead a person to question when they do gain some level of consciousness, “why am I always the one helping others and when I need someone nobody comes for me?“
It can be a harsh realization to be the person who always understands others but never the person who is understood.
The time when to stop helping someone comes when you try to help someone and it backfires by you losing out on your happiness, your dreams, your goals, your life, and your self.
You will never help others if you are so beaten down by life, depression, emotions, and people.
You are not a bad guy if you don’t want to help everyone you come across in life. You can’t save everyone.
So stop trying to.
You are only human.
The best form of help comes in inspiring people to want to change their situations.
Inspiration saves more lives than always doing for someone what they could do for themselves.
I end with this, a quote from Superman.
“You do not permanently help others by doing what they could and should do for themselves.”Superman Earth One Vol. 1
You may find it hard not to intervene in someone’s life, but if you want to help others, simply be an inspiration.
Inspiration saves and helps so many lives.